Speaking your mind
In this month’s translation industry updates we’ll be reflecting on one of life’s biggest challenges: speaking our minds.
Speaking our mind takes courage, particularly in the face of social pressure, and that’s probably part of the reason why many of us are often so reluctant to do it. At some point or another, most of us struggle to honestly speak our mind, whether this is because we dislike confrontation, we lack faith in our convictions, or we worry about what other people will think of us.
We all self-censor to some extent, perhaps some more than others depending on factors such as age and cultural background, and in some situations it’s necessary. Yet there are a number of reasons why it can be helpful for us to honestly speak our mind to other people. Speaking our mind in any kind of difficult situation can be important if it means standing up for something we believe in, and being open and honest about our position can also help clear the air in the case of misunderstandings and identify that there’s a problem to be worked on, while giving other people the space to raise their opinions too. On the other hand, staying quiet can have a detrimental impact on interpersonal relationships over time and can even prevent us from sharing worthwhile ideas that other people might benefit from.
There are a number of different scenarios where we might benefit from speaking our mind and these can range from intensely emotionally-charged encounters with loved ones to such banal situations as telling a waiter that our food is cold.
If you’ve encountered a difficult situation that you feel needs addressing, here are some tips for moving forward.
Consider the situation carefully
The first thing worth considering is whether it’s worth speaking your mind in a given situation. There are pros and cons to any interaction so you might like to think over whether a positive outcome is a worthwhile tradeoff for managing the challenge of the confrontation. Only you can decide this and it will depend on the situation. If it’s an ongoing situation that you’re personally invested in then it’s probably best to say something, since in the long run not speaking out typically creates more conflict. If what’s on your mind relates to a passing situation or a one-off occurrence then there’s more of an argument for letting it slide although you should be aware that if it continues then you’ll feel more and more upset and it’s likely it will lead to a bigger confrontation.
Think carefully about any kind of values-based confrontation and decide whether defending your position is worth the emotional fallout
This is particularly important if it’s a situation that relates to people who are close to us or come from a different generational background. We live in a world where we’re constantly pressured to have an opinion on controversial topics and state our position publicly. Correspondingly, it often feels like it is increasingly normal for people’s friendships to break down on political grounds compared with in the pre-internet era. On the one hand, it’s important that we stay true to what we believe in, but if it’s a situation that does not directly affect you and speaking out about it might harm your relationships with other people then it might be worth accepting that the other person might not share your point of view. If on the other hand it’s something that you see and disagree with on a daily basis like unethical behaviour or workplace conflict, it’s likely to be more worth making a stand.
Try to time your approach well and consider preparing what you want to say in advance.
If you’re speaking out about a moral dilemma or other highly charged situation then take some time to better educate yourself on your standpoint so you’re in a stronger position to convey your point of view to others. Write your ideas down if needed, and consider running your ideas past a trusted friend or family member since they might be able to help you get a better feel for whether you have the situation in perspective and may also be able to offer you an alternate viewpoint. If you’re anticipating addressing a difficult conversation that you’ve been needing to have for a while, set aside a dedicated time to talk it out so that everyone has a chance to mentally prepare themselves. Regardless of how you feel about the situation, thank the other person or people for being receptive and showing up.
Always try to explain your point of view so that others know where you’re coming from
We often assume that people intuitively understand our position but that might not always be the case. Have faith in your convictions, but be open to having your mind changed by other people, since this will help you to understand what their starting point is, even if you still disagree with them. Try to work with people and educate them in some way rather than giving them the impression that you’re judging them.
Put things into perspective
As with a lot of difficult situations in life, sometimes the longer-term stress of avoiding a confrontation is more challenging than the shorter-term stress of addressing it. A lot of us avoid confrontations out of a fear of making the situation worse but you’ll nearly always feel better for having spoken, and even if you don’t manage to resolve the situation immediately you’ll benefit from having got it out in the open and identified that more work is needed in order to reach a consensus. Plus, people are often more receptive than we think, particularly once we’ve made them aware that there’s some kind of problem.
Lastly, remember that as with any challenging situation in life, with time and practice it gets easier. Regardless of how your situation turns out, it will help you to navigate the next challenging interaction, and that’s important in itself.
That wraps up our discussion of speaking our mind, but we’d like to know whether you agree or disagree with our points or have alternative ideas to offer, so if you have anything else to say, please don’t hesitate to write in the comments.
Stay mindful, and see you again for next month’s updates!
Sources
Hearts + Minds
How to have hard conversations
https://www.hearts-minds.ie/home/hard-conversations-jz5ft?
Psychology Today
How to Have the Conversations You’ve Been Avoiding
The Psychology Group
How to Have Difficult Conversations (And Why We Avoid Them)
https://thepsychologygroup.com/how-to-have-difficult-conversations
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