Can we really choose happiness?
In this month’s mindfulness and wellbeing updates we’ll be taking one of life’s biggest questions: can we really choose happiness?
The most pessimistic answer is that no, it’s not entirely within our power to choose happiness.
It’s easy and tempting to think of happiness as something that we can simply ‘opt into’, but in many ways our happiness and sense of security and comfort are heavily impacted by outside factors. So many of us are facing economic difficulties and that vastly limits our life choices and takes up a lot of our mental energy, while the housing situation is out of control in many countries, meaning that even basic feats like maintaining a comfortable and private independent home environment is out of the reach of an increasing number of people.
Global social inequality is probably the worst it’s ever been, with the world’s richest 1% owning more wealth than 95% of humanity, according to figures quoted by Oxfam in 2024, and it can feel really difficult to continue chipping away when it seems like a small number of individuals and organisations own and control almost everything. That’s without taking into account what feels like an increasingly fragile geopolitical environment and the fact that the very real effects of climate change are increasingly making themselves felt throughout much of the world.
At the same time, even while dealing with these external challenges it’s arguably still possible for us to make some kind of difference to our lives and those of the people around us. We still have elements of our lives that we can control, and we can still take pleasure in small things. We can still enjoy many of the same things that were meaningful to us in less challenging times, like family and social connections, creative activities and learning. And we can also hope for better things to come, and work to make it more likely that these transform into reality.
With the above thoughts in mind, here are some tips on pursuing happiness in a flawed world.
First of all, try to be realistic about what happiness means. We’re often told to cherish every moment and make it count, but this can place an unrealistic burden on us and is not necessarily reflective of what life is actually like. Instead, try to see small positives in every day, while not being oblivious to the wider challenges. Sometimes it’s possibly better to aim for general wellbeing and stability rather than happiness.
Secondly, it’s worth keeping in mind that one of the biggest determiners of our overall happiness other than basic factors like health and material comfort is feeling like we have some element of control over our lives. A lot of us are bound by factors that are outside of our control, including economic and social standing, country of citizenship, immigration status, and many more. But within those confines, we can still make a practical effort to pursue happiness and fulfillment.
Consider making a distinction between the things you have some level of control over and the things that are beyond your control, so that you’re better able to accept what is beyond you but also in a more positive position to make a difference to the things that are within your remit.
Also remember that we sometimes have more control over challenging situations than we think. If, for example, you dislike your job but you don’t have the option of leaving, you could try seeing the job as a way of growing your experience to better serve you for future opportunities, or take comfort in the stability that comes with having a job. You could also look for ways that you can actively position yourself for better things, like for example pursuing online courses to help you reskill on the side. Or, you could try to focus your energy on things that are meaningful to you outside of your work, such as family or hobbies.
Never lose sight of the importance of having other people to support you and remember that a lot of our happiness comes from having positive contact with other people. The way that the world is set up often makes us feel increasingly detached from one another but that means that meaningful social contact is now more important than ever. Try to check in with people whenever you can, since this will help you as well as them. Even if you consider yourself to be an introverted person or you don’t have a traditional support network to call on, try to make the most of social connections with anyone around you, whether that’s colleagues or anyone else that you encounter on a regular basis.
Try to make a difference in small ways. Go outdoors and travel wherever possible, even if it’s only to a different part of your own city. Read as widely as possible, and try to find things that inspire you. Always be open to opportunities, and remember that learning can itself be a pathway to happiness in the sense that it offers us not only personal fulfilment but a sense of having achieved something tangible.
Remember to rest and relax, since often we feel most peaceful and content when we’re doing nothing. Try to find the time to get bored, even if that’s difficult in an online world, since we often think best when we have fewer things to distract us. Also be aware that sometimes moments of happiness just present themselves. We can't really 'create' happiness in the same way that we can't make memories or some up with amazing ideas or insights on command.
Lastly, remember that challenging times aren’t forever and that at some point or another either the situation will change or your take on it will. Humans have always lived, made art, raised families, written novels, and accomplished all manner of feats even in the worst of times. Sometimes the most challenging periods in history were also a time of creativity and innovation, and sometimes personal challenges are part of a wider path forward, even if it’s not possible to see that in the moment.
These are just some ideas for pursuing happiness in challenging circumstances but we’d like to know your take on whether or not we can truly pursue happiness, so please feel free to leave a comment at the bottom.
Stay mindful, and see you again for next month’s updates!
Sources
Oxfam International, 23 September 2024
World’s top 1% own more wealth than 95% of humanity, as “the shadow of global oligarchy hangs over UN General Assembly,” says Oxfam
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