Self-confidence and silencing your inner critic

January tends to be a reflective month for many people, and a time when we tend to think about aspects of our life that we’d like to manage differently. At the same time, many of us can easily feel that self-criticism and fear of failure can prevent us from moving forwards. In this month’s translation industry updates we’ll be thinking about how to quieten our inner critic and approach the world with a greater sense of confidence.

A certain amount of self-reflection is a good thing if it allows us to gain perspective and even identify areas for improvement, but excessive self-criticism can be counterproductive in many ways. Over and above undermining our self-confidence, being overly self-critical can have a number of other detrimental effects such as preventing our personal growth through limiting our ability to take on challenging situations, and even undermining our personal relationships. Self-criticism can also lead to other issues such as procrastination or avoidant behaviour, which in the longer term can ironically create a negative feedback loop where we feel bad about ourselves for not accomplishing anything, but we are too scared to try anything because we are held back by our inner critic.

If you identify with any of those points then you probably share the notion that it’s worth keeping our inner critic in check. But how can we silence those inner voices? We’ve shared a few ideas on limiting your inner self-critic and keeping it in check, but these are by no means exhaustive and they might not work for everyone, so if you have alternative ideas please feel free to write them in the comments.

Tip number one: Resist the temptation to think of self-criticism as being innately virtuous

A lot of the time the way we frame self-criticism is arguably faulty. It’s easy to tell ourselves that in setting high personal standards for ourselves and holding ourselves accountable we are promoting personal growth, but there’s nothing innately useful about treating ourselves harshly and setting unrealistic expectations. If anything, giving ourselves the freedom to try things and get them wrong will ultimately help us develop more in the long run.

Being self-critical or overthinking situations can often give us a sense of control, but ultimately thinking about a problem is not the same as actually solving it, so it’s important not to let our inner critic prevent us from taking practical action to improve situations or ourselves. Self-criticism for its own sake is self-defeating.

Tip number two: Try to capture and challenge self-critical thoughts

A lot of us tend to be more critical of ourselves in some areas of life than in others. If you tend to criticise particular elements of yourself or your behaviour, try to catch yourself and be aware of the kind of situations that trigger you. It’s also worth trying to establish whether criticism is accurate or helpful. A lot of the time we think in terms of worst-case scenarios or downplay our own achievements relative to our failures. If you made a mistake (or if your fear of making a mistake is preventing you from doing something), ask yourself whether that mistake would really be the worst thing ever. Ask a friend for perspective if you’re struggling to see a situation objectively from your own point of view.

Tip number three: Never criticise yourself more harshly than you would another person

We often tolerate behaviour in other people that we would instantly criticise ourselves for. If you wouldn’t criticise another person for something, don’t criticise yourself for it. Most of us would never be as judgemental of other people as we are of ourselves, which means that although it might sound silly, one approach to avoiding excessive self-criticism is to imagine talking to yourself as if you would talk to a friend. We normally give better advice to other people than we do to ourselves and have more realistic expectations of them. Try to be nice to yourself and treat yourself in the same way you would anyone else around you.

Tip number four: Focus on your strengths

If you feel self-doubt setting in, try to remember a time when you overcame a challenge or achieved something you were proud of. We tend to remember perceived failures much more strongly than we remember successes, which means that remembering what you are good at will help you to keep a sense of perspective. It’s always a good idea to remember that if you succeeded in one situation then you can use this confidence and strength to take on other more challenging situations. It’s also worth reading widely and trying to learn as much as possible, since knowledge often brings confidence and perspective.

Tip number five: Look for distractions

It can be easy to feel overwhelmed by self-doubt, particularly if we already feel tired or run-down or we’re going through challenging situations in different areas of our life. However, overthinking can often prevent us from moving forwards. If you’re feeling bad about yourself (and this is something that happens to all of us), try to break the overthinking cycle by focusing your mind on other things, such as exercise, creative hobbies, or time spent in the company of other people. This will give you a sense of perspective and also boost your overall peace of mind, helping you to approach your worries with more clarity and confidence later. Also make sure to look after yourself in the sense of resting and sleeping properly, since this will also help you to be able to look at situations more objectively.

Tip number six: Avoid comparing yourself to other people

As Theodore Roosevelt allegedly said, comparison is the thief of joy. A lot of the time we criticise ourselves for failing to live up to the perceived accomplishments of other people, but in some ways this is the least helpful criticism of all. Firstly, we are all different and achievement means different things to other people. Secondly, we are all working from different starting points which means that it can be unrealistic to compare ourselves to people who, for example, have more money than us or have been dealt advantages in other ways. And lastly, we often compare ourselves with other people without knowing the full story. This is true even when it comes to people that we are personally familiar with, such as friends and work colleagues, but even more true in today’s social media age when we have an instant window into other people’s worlds without actually knowing them.

It’s important to remember that social media content by definition is curated and that it only offers a partial view of how people actually live. Also be aware that apparently successful friends and work colleagues are often struggling with other things, including their own self-criticism. If you find yourself making unfavourable comparisons with others then try to focus on your own strengths and ultimately on what you yourself value and want to accomplish in life. Also, remember that other people are far less aware of our behaviour than we often realise which means that even if you feel you’ve messed up in some way, it is unlikely to make an impression on people to the same extent it makes an impression on you.

Tip number seven: Try to make a habit of challenging self-criticism

Establishing any habit is hard, but if you can try to consistently challenge unhelpful self-criticism then with time it will get easier and more natural. Try to form a pattern of recognising and reframing self-critical thoughts, and try to be more consistent in praising yourself for successes and reminding yourself of what you are capable of. It’s also worth trying to act more confident even if you don’t feel it, since confidence ultimately builds on itself and starts to feel more real.

And that rounds off our tips for challenging unhelpful self-criticism and facing life with more confidence. We hope these tips have been helpful, but if you have any additional suggestions, please feel free to let us know in the comments.

Stay mindful, and see you again for next month’s updates!